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Piranha 3D Review


Ok, so I will be the first to tell you. I really didn't care to see this flick. Although it was directed by The Hills Have Eyes and High Tension helmer Alexandre Aja. He also hurt my whole opinion with a movie called Mirrors. Ugh. You automatically think anything with him directing and Kiefer starring would be gold. More like trash. Anyway, this is of course the story of a underwater earthquake opening up a lair of prehistoric man eating perch. Yeah, I'm sorry but, Piranha look like perch. Anyway, I have to tell you. Hmmm. This movie was horribly corny, had one painful digital kill scene, and huh.... I loved it. Yeah. Loved it. I will tell you. I am a gore hound. The gorer the better. And let me tell you. There is a scene involving some spring breakers and these little fish that will leave you going.. Holy shit. Sure its your typical kid leaves the little kids home alone who of course go off and get in a bind and then the mom comes to rescue plot. But, theres a great cameo of Richard Dreyfus doing a ode to Jaws. Elizabeth Shue is well hot. Throw in alittle Ving Rhames, Eli Roth, and Jerry "they ate my penis" O' Connell and you have terrible, corny, gory magic. That shit was horrific. Lol. And nobody does they ate my penis like Jerry. And I wonder as I sit here. Is this the goriest movie I've ever seen? I mean there is Chainsaw 2 which was pretty gory. Friday's had gore. Lotsa of Zombie flicks have gore. This thing really wants to take the title. And some of the kills were corny but, very fun. This is most definitely worth a watch as long as you don't expect some Oscar winning effects or acting. Its exactly what its supposed to be. A movie about fish eating people. How serious can it be? I'll give it a 4 out 5 axes. The 1 missing axe is for the death at the beginning that is terribly digital and seems low budget as hell. This is like they took a Final Destination movie and through in some Jaws and took away like $20 million in budget and said go make a movie.

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