The Children Movie Review
Ok, so I got around to seeing The Children. Mind you going in to this I was all fired up for what was supposed to be a horrific affair involving evil little kids murdering their parents. This movie has been getting unreal reviews. So imagine my surprise to find this movie was fucking terrible. Maybe, in all fairness its the fact that these little kids did not scare me one fucking bit. I just kept thinking will somebody get a belt and bust their little ass? Sorry guys but, my folks did believe in whipping my ass. And it worked. I actually can not believe that people are loving this movie. It was a UK pic. Which I have no issues with some of my favorite horror movies are from the UK. I just wasted a hour and half of life I will never ever get back. It involves a Xmas get together between rich relatives that are smug and wanting to home school their children. And their the "we don't spank our children types". The only likable character was Casey who ends up killing off most of the kids until the end when her mom finally shows up with a nice car ramming kills. Some body said "their is plenty of gore in this one!" Really? Where in the hell was it. Some blood does not make for gore. If you need a more definition watch Hostel. Or Saw. Or something besides this hunk of crap. Anyway, for no apparent reason kids start offing the parents (which frankly I didn't care much for so fuck em'). And that does not make for a good horror film when you do not care about characters living or dieing. The children wasn't particularly scary. This film was directed by Tom Shankland wasn't particularly terrible far as direction and the acting wasn't bad. I think my issue was story. It just was not rattling to me in anyway. The children weren't scary or maybe the concept of them killing wasn't scary. Either way this film did not work for me. I'm glad I've at least seen it to even out the "great reviews" its gotten because frankly, for indie horror give me Splinter for the 3rd time now. 1 ax out of 5. The 1 is for the camera being in focus. lol.
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