Showing posts with label Horror Movie Reviews. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Horror Movie Reviews. Show all posts
The Dark Knight Rises Review
It is a true masterpiece of movie making. And much like Return of the Jedi to The Empire Strikes Back (my number one movie of all time) it truely brings everything full circle. The movie starts 8 years later after the The Dark Knight and the death of Harvey Dent. The movie does a fantastic job of setting up exactly what Bruce Wayne has been doing. Also, the effects of the events on all aspects of his life including Alfred and Wayne Enterprises. Then comes Catwoman. Anne Hathaway as Selina Kyle scared the hell out of me when she was cast. I have to tell you. She was freaking great. Very slick, inventive, smart, classy, and flat ass kicking in some parts. Christopher Nolan does a great job of tieing in Bane and Catwoman. Setting up the untrust that Batman and Catwoman always had for each other. Bane is played to near perfection by Tom "Inception" Hardy. Nolan sets the superhero standard for realism in characters. Always giving you the since that if a person had the skill and the resources that it could ALL really happen. Bane is got a cross between a bodybuilder and powerlifter's body. Large. Brutal. However, without the just stupid absurdness that "Batman and Robin's" Bane had some 14 years ago. And the voice that was created for Bane is a cross between almost desperate and scary. If Jason Voorhees was a ninja, extremely smart, and had resources he would be Bane. Nolan continued to do a good job of satisfying all fans of Batman by including key elements of previous comics but, keeping the realism of reality.
There are excellent performances from all of the supporting casts as Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine, and Gary Oldman all deliver in the Oscar worthy acting we come to expect from them. The one person that was surprisingly fantastic was Joseph Gordon Levitt. Hard to believe this is the wise cracking kid from 3rd Rock from the sun and got hocked pucked in Halloween H20. The guy is engaging, believable, motivated, and keeps the film moving while other plots are unfolding. I will shock people but, I believe he could win a best supporting actor award for this.
This was not as good as The Dark Knight. However, what could be? I literally have The Dark Knight has the number 4 film in my top 6 holy grail of movies. And much like Jedi to Empire this was strong and fitting. It will certainly satisfy 95% of all Batman fans I would think. My heart goes out to the victims and the families in Colorado. It scares me that it will effect how movies are made. As The Dark Knight Trilogy are the standard for which superhero movies should be measured. Although, Marvel does a good job of giving that chipper almost cartoonish comic movie that are enjoyable you never for a minute get this and the Avengers confused. That is a comic movie. The Dark Knight Trilogy are all REAL movies. That can be fitted in with the Goodfellas, The Godfathers, The Empire Strikes Backs of the world. I give this movie 4.85 axes out of 5. The only reason this is not a 5 is because it's not The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight deserves its 5 rating by itself. This movie could never live to that standard. But, folks. This comes damn close. ENJOY!!!
Attack The Block Review
Alright, so I haven't done many reviews lately are even updated the site. My bad. So I am playing catch up. Here comes the foreign flick Attack The Block. This movie centers on a bunch of hoodlums in London fighting aliens. Yeah, thats what I said. This movie stars John Boyega as Moses. The leader of these little hoodlums. The movie starts with a alien dropping out of the sky and landing on top of a car. Which we find seems to be there place of choice to land. Cars come out real bad in this flick. Anyway, the aliens aren't the most special effects driven monsters ever. Think Critters meets Planet of the Apes. With glow in the dark teeth. This movie does not have the epic feel that a alien invasion flick normally would have like Independance Day or Battle: LA. This movie however, does have one thing going for it. Chemistry. These kids are a complete hoot with their bad manners and just shitty disposition. And for some odd reason I thought about Goonies and Stand By Me while watching this. I know that's going to seem like a stretch but, as these kids come together and take action it becomes a great ride. There is not a whole lot of gore. And the special effects are limited. But, there is plenty of violence and humor. And the lead played by John Boyega is a home run. This kid could have a big time future in movies. He will remind you of 50 Cent if 50 was a pure actor and about 15 years old. Nick Frost of Shaun of the Dead fame even lends about 15 minutes of total screen time to the flick. Basically, for comic relief but, he sorely misses Simon Pegg. There is fantastic on screen rapport between a young lady that is originally mugged by the kids and the kids themselves. And while low budget alien movies like District 9 gets great reviews. Frankly, this beats that crap all to hell. The direction, scripting, and general action sequences are worth the price of admission and this is a really good popcorn flick. I give it 4 out of 5 axes. The only missing axe is for the lack of money spent on effects but, I think you will mostly find you do not care. Enjoy this indy gem.
Cannibal Holocaust Review
Well, I'm back again with a another review for your ass... This time it's the horrid controversial Cannibal Holocaust. There is actually people out there that believes this is a real documentary. Well... No. It's a movie. It's a found footage film from 1980 and was made on about $100,000. This movie is of course notable for it's real animal kills and there are a couple of other kills that to this day people wonder if it is snuff. The movie centers around a group of film makers that travel to South America to study cannibals. And a professor that goes to South America to find them and their camera footage. Let's just say the professor makes out alot better than the film makers. This movie is was little different than what I expected. I was thinking the film makers were victims. They are not. And I will leave it at that. This movie has a extreme amount of gore. Some real. And I found the animal killing just uncalled for. And I am by no means a prude. Some of my favorite horror films are The Hills Have Eyes and High Tension. So gore does not bother me. You get the feel that this movie was made strictly for shock value. Which to be honest. I generally like. But, it comes across at some point as just a snuff film (which it is not). People are right this is a sick and in some parts just revolting flick. At the same time. It makes you almost root for the cannibals at the end. And that in itself is rather interesting. There is a certain innocence to the cannibals and you feel flat ass bad for them at some points. Which was an unexpected feeling coming in to this. I will warn you. Do NOT rent this expecting a Saturday night slasher flick with the girlfriend. This is one of those flicks I watched with my fiancee out of town just to do a review on it and finally to just have seen it. And people are right. The gloves are WAY off. This is full of rape, full frontal nudity (penis' and vaginas everywhere), animal killing (real), and some serious dismemberment. Sounds great but, this was well beyond anything you get out of Last House on the Left or even the Hills Have Eyes. And leaves you thinking WTF?
I will give this 2.5 axes out of 5. It was exactly what it was supposed to be... At some points I thought this is actually good...
Cabin Fever 2 Review
Alright so I sit down yesterday and got caught up on a couple films I probably shouldve watched and reviewed months ago. But, I didn't. So shoot me. First up is Cabin Fever 2. Essentially this movie starts off where the last ends. With a little Rider Strong cameo (I prayed he died in the last one). Which was coolish. Not cool just coolish. This time the water has seeped down the river into the Down Home Water company's bottle water. So much for pure mountain water. And it lands us at a high school preparing for a prom. It of course follows standard operating horror procedure. About 20 minutes of character development and then some really ugly breakdown of everything. Now, this movie had a excellent scene of a fat girl actually getting laid. This is just really not seen and I don't dig a fat girl but, it's good they get some love. It's just really rare. The virus or bacteria basically rips through the school's prom. Killing everybody. There is of course the normal school nerds, bully, whores. Although, it was based around the same virus of the first film but, for some reason it felt like two completely different unrelated movies. This was a good little horror movie. Built around over the top gore. But, more blood related. Not so much face eating away type gore. There is a painful dick scene in the movie that will make you cringe. And anytime somebody fucks with a finger nail it's just plain nasty. Couple swings and misses were not letting Michael Bowen (Kill Bill) to have more involvement. This is definitely worth a watch. I would say this is better than the first one. But, both of these movies stand alone to me. I give it 3.0 axes out of 5.0. Good stuff.
Hatchet 2 Review
Well, I just finished the 2nd installment of the Adam Green's horror saga known as Hatchet and Hatchet 2. I have to admit although I liked the first one I did not go completely ape shit for it the way the rest of the horror community has. It was good but, I am hit or miss on horror/comedies. Hatchet of course brought together some horror icons in Kane Hodder, Tony Todd, and Robert England. But, Todd and England were in there in more of a cameo capacity and although that was pretty cool I thought there was a hair too much slapstick gore and comedy in the first one. So I am pretty much expecting the same for the 2nd flick. It did have its moments of comedy this one did a better job with alittle more believable gore and a tad less comedy. It also brought us Danielle Harris and hell who doesn't like Danielle Harris. Fresh off her Halloween 2 or H2 or whatever the hell that horrible sequel was to Zombie's Halloween. She had a main role in this movie ala her old Halloween 4 and 5 days. And this time Tony Todd had a lengthy starring role. I have to admit I was much more interested toward the end of the movie. The R.A. Mihailoff role was pretty cool as well. Having both Candyman and Leatherface squaring off against Victor Crowley aka Jason Voorhees aka Kane Hodder was quite pleasing. Green does a good job of at least playing to the horror audience by giving us heroes of our past. Of course Kane Hodder plays Crowley to perfection hacking and slashing his way through the swamp. I also found this group of victims alittle more interesting than the first films. I enjoyed the fact that Crowley had at least one some what even throw down with a character and Green delivers a great Friday the 13th The Final Chapter ending to this movie. Lets just say Danielle Harris does her best Corey Feldman impression.... I give this 4 out of 5 axes. I took away 1 axe for the slapstick comedy. Oh... and be sure to check out Friday the 13th Part 7 director John Carl Buechler in the beginning as Jack Cracker. Pretty funny.
Paranormal Activity 2 Review
Paranormal Activity 2 Review
Ok, so its been a long time since i've done a review. I have not had a lot of time to check out many movies but, I saw this and Frozen in the last few days. So here goes. This movie follows another part of the family connected to the original two members of the first family. Essentially, this time we include a baby, a dog, a paranoid housekeeper, and one overly active pool cleaner. We do see appearances from Katie and Micah from the first movie. Of course, there is alot of unexplained noises, movements, door slams, etc. Now, I found the original to be a pretty darn good horror movie. I don't even like supernatural horror. At all. But, these movies are alittle like The Blair Witch Project. Very entertaining the first time around. Now, I watched The Blair Witch years ago and contended it was the scariest damn movie ever. And in turn did not watch it again until last year. And much to my horror. It did not scare me at all. Why? No re-watchability. If thats a word. It was almost boring. These movies are great one time only. But, unlike a good horror slasher flick like Halloween or Friday the 13th. You have no villian to root for to either kill or be killed. And thats very impacting. It was a pretty nice twist at the end to tie in the first movie. I found the father to be annoying by all means leave for a work visit when you have drama going on. Your old lady is at home having a breakdown. WTF? The daughter pulling this family curse or agreement out of her ass did not particularly move me either. Seemed alittle far fetched. Hmmm. And this movie is definitely good for a one time only watch. For that reason I will give it a 2.75 axes out of 5 rating. In the past I would have went 3.5 or higher. But, this new found re-watchability factor is killing movies like this. Good little creepy moments but, nothing to write home about. Enjoy. The first time.....
Splice Movie Review
Well, I got to say.. Splice is rather unique and that isn't always a good thing. Its the story of two scientists played by Sarah Polley and Adrien Brody that decide to create a creature in order to further scientists toward cures for various diseases. Some times good intentions go bad. And so does this movie. They basically create a Species type being that has some human characteristics however, its made from human dna and various animals. Well, hmmm. Sounds interesting. Especially, if a military unit was called in to kill it.. Course, that doesn't happen. And I like character building and story telling. But, for a movie dubbed as a horror movie. Well, the horror was it took like 60 minutes for anything to happen. Also, although it didn't bother me some will definitely be alittle freaked out by a scene between Adrien Brody and the creature. Wait till you see it. Anyway, they end up having to move this thing from the lab to a country house and the movie takes off a little from there. There are couple deaths. Honestly, if this could have found a way to have fit the first 60 minutes in to 20 and then had a lot of killing and creature hunting then great. But, they didn't and frankly I was bored to damn tears. Especially considering the two actors in this movie. I am a big fan of both but, this is neither Predators or Dawn of the Dead and frankly this flick could've used alittle influence of either or both. This movie was simply too slow paced and there really wasn't any real gore to speak of nor was there enough stalking of the creature to build suspense. All in all. I had high hopes for this flick. That never panned out. I give this like 1 out of 5 axes. As the 1 is for the film being in focus. God, this was disappointing.
The Expendables Movie Review
Ok, so i know this a horror website but, I also like to dip my foot in the waters of other genres. We're branching out in to horror core rap, action movies etc. I've finally gotten my system back up and running so I'm ready to go... So we'll start with The Expendables. Here we have the action movie with much hype that had Slyvester Stallone bringing together most of the current and previous days action movie stars. Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Steve Austin, Eric Roberts, Terry Crews, and Randy Couture all had a sizable part in this flick. Now things have changed alot in the tastes of movie goers. I honestly thought this movie might borderline bomb just due to people's like of interest in action movies. In the 80's and early to mid 90's these movies were gold. Why? Because nobody expected them to be a oscar caliber movie. I remember literally going to see Universal Soldier opening night and it being SOLD OUT. Now, the sequels can't even see the theater. Too many movies like The Hurt Locker and No Country for Old Men are considered action movies. To me. Their dramas. Damn good ones. So we have your basic action movie plot. Group of guys with lots of guns and martial arts skills battling an evil warlord type in some 3rd world sweaty hell. Now this movie isn't winning any awards for screenplays or acting. Or directing. But, it will damn sure take you back to the good ol' days of unbelievable explosions. One Liners and anything else that as a product of growning up in the 80's and 90's made action movies great. Will I say its the best action movie I've seen this year? No. Which does make me sad. I actually enjoyed The A-Team more than this movie. But, it will easily get 2nd best action flick of the year. The cameos of Bruce Willis and Arnold were cool as a tip of your cap toward them. I will say this. Seeing Dolph Lundgren back on the big screen with that eerie sorta foreign accent kicking ass was pretty damn cool. However, the two noticable missing pieces to this movie were Steven Seagal and Jean Claude Van Damme. And I've read Sly tried to score them both for this flick. Hopefully, in the sequel we will get it. And seeing that its made $180 million worldwide. We will get our sequel. I give this movie 3.5 out of 5 axes. As long as you understand this movie will be corny at times. Also have big explosions. You liked action movies 20 years ago. You will enjoy this flick.
Return of the Living Dead Movie Review
Return of the Living Dead Movie Review
Ok, so tonight was a netflix night and the gf and me watched a 80's horror classic Return of the Living Dead. This movie is directed by Dan O'Bannon and stars Clu Glulager and Thom Mathews. Both great genre actors including Mathews playing the iconic Tommy Jarvis in Jason Lives Friday Part 6. I must say I had seen this movie but, it was years ago. Maybe 15 or 20 years ago so I didn't remember much about it other than Mathews being in it and I think thats just because I had seen Jason Lives a million times. Now, this is a zombie pic with horror and comedy elements. It is also remembered for 3 things. Some over the top gore, a red spiked hair chick in full frontal nudity, and its comedic tone. This movie was not like your zombie toned movie like Dawn of the Dead, 28 Days Later, or its sequel. This was more in the vein of Shaun of the Dead. I must say if by chance if you haven't seen this you really should check it out. The movie is full of funny moments, and several moments that are just terrible but, in a great cheesy 80's horror way. Thom Mathews will drive you nuts as a whiny Freddy who is exposed to gas that causes him to eventually become a living dead member. Its a complete popcorn flick. And if you really don't dig horror/comedies that its best you should just stay away from this one. Even though I don't usually care for them myself this is an exception. Its campy and fun. And definitely worth a rent minimum. Maybe even a buy on a marked down rack. I give it 3.5 out of 5 axes.
Top 20 horror movies Part 2 - The Final Chapter
Top 20 horror movies Part 2 - The Final Chapter
9) 28 Days Later - Oh wow. A powerhouse zombie flick to the max. Directed by recent best picture director Danny Boyle. The acting strength of Cillian Murphy and Brendan Gleeson. People are infected with a virus that causes RAGE. Now, thats a premise I love. Serious gore. A bunch of nutty ass service men trying to fuck little girls in dresses to keep the "world population" going. This is literally one of the top 3 best zombie flicks I've ever seen.
8) 28 Weeks Later - Thats right. I have the sequel ahead of the original. A great piece to the first movie and I thought a more polished version of the first film. More great casting Robert Carlyle as a dad that gets infected with rage and Jeremy Renner as a army sniper trying to help to young kids escape the city. Takes place as you can image exactly 28 weeks later.
7) Friday the 13th Part 6 Jason Lives - I debated putting this on the list as its my favorite Friday movie but, its more of a summer popcorn horror flick that a scary demented horror movie. But, its got some memorable horror moments including one of the best opening scenes ever when Jason is resurrected.
6) TCM 2003 - Thats right folks. This is the one that started the big debate about even remaking horror movies. But, this was the one that should be the fucking slasher standard. Marcus Nispel who directed the relaunch of Friday the 13th on behalf of Platinum Dunes reeled out a brutal, raw masterpiece of hell. Leatherface is large brutal and a nightmare for teens that happen upon him and R Lee Ermey who plays a demented leader of the Hewitt family and a new horror icon to go right along with Leatherface. The Unrated copy is the only way to watch this. Gore to the max.
5) Dawn of the Dead - 2004 - The remake of the George Romero classic zombie flick directed by a highly talented Zack Snyder. This movie gave us Zombies on HGH and steriods. Complete with a great cast of Sarah Polley, Ving Rhames, and Jake Weber. It takes place in the mall. And is in my opinion of the best remake of all the remakes so far. This is one twisted mutha on unrated dvd which is the only way to watch this. Gore to the max.
4) House on Haunted Hill - 1999 - Remake of William Castle's original. And one twisted fucking flick. This movie had a serious cast which included a great performance from Geoffrey Rush as a demented owner of the house. A group of people are assembled to a House that used to be the site of a insane nut house. That had one really twisted doctor that tortured patients. Alot of gore and just the movements of the entities in this freaked me the hell out.
3) Saw - 2004 horror movie directed by James Wan. Saw introduced us to one of horror's largest icon's now namely one Jigsaw as nicely portrayed by Tobin Bell. This movie was one of the most original horror movies I can remember seeing in years. And had a great cast of Cary Elwes and Danny Glover. The ending is also one of the biggest "oh shit" moments ever in horror history. The score at the end just adds to its history. And the unrated version is a gore filled lovefest.
2) Event Horizon - 1997 - Event Horizon combines two elements that are extremely hit or miss. Combining Sci Fi with Horror. But, this works to the max. One of the greatest casts ever assembled for a horror movie including Sam Neill, Laurence Fishburne, Sean Pertwee and directed by Paul WS Anderson. This movie is about exploring a ship that was lost in space for years and now has popped back up on the radar. Well, once on board all "HELL" breaks loose. As hell itself opens and plays on his member of the crews worst fears. Nice amounts of gore and a very unnerving feeling makes this one creepy SOB.
1) Blair Witch Project - 1999 - The original little horror movie that could. About 3 young college students that goes in search of a legend called the Blair Witch. This is the biggest love or hate movie of all time. Both me and Late Night Sneaky Pedro love this movie. But, our other partner in crime Twan thinks this is one of the worst horror movies ever. For me. Living in Texas and from the ages of 12 to 17 exploring the woods was a thing to do. And spooky sounds and noises were part of the experience. This was one unnerving venture down memory lane for me. No real gore. But, a lot of struggle between the kids and pure emotion from all involved made this a tremendous experience.
Well, there it is. My Top 20 horror movies ever. Feel free to agree, bash, or otherwise.
Rockbot Rants- Top 5 Most Overrated Horror Movies Ever
Ok, so I have to tell you. I about to venture in to a realm of opinion that seems to be forbidden ground with horror movies. Some of the "supposed classics". And everybody and their love of the "originals". Great. Ok, well, in most cases there are reasons to believe that the classics are classics. And maybe in the cases of some of the movies I am about rant on we can say the fact that I didn't see them when they "originally" came out just due to age. And I saw most of these in the 80's. or Early 80's. And some just recently. Top 5 most overrated horror movies I've ever seen. This is strictly a bias opinion.
5) The original Last House on the Left - Hmmm. It was directed by the great Wes Craven. Ok. What does that mean? Wes Craven's best movies are The original Hills Have Eyes, Dracula 2000 (yes, i said that shit), Scream. and um' Cursed. Wait. No. Not Cursed (a truely terrible movie). Some might say Nightmare on Elm Street but, I wasn't a big Freddy fan. But, it didn't make my list. So Nightmare fans breath easy. This movie was supposed to have been I guess shocking for its time. Because two young girls get kidnapped, raped, beaten, and killed by some convicts. Now, maybe because of its time released this was all true. But, its what most of this list is all about. It doesn't stand the test of time. This movie is no longer even remotely shocking. Hostel? Hostel 2? The Hills Have Eyes Remake? High Tension? WTF. I remember seeing this movie and thinking after it was over wait? Something else was bound to happen. Cause, where's this payoff? Nothing....
4) The Sixth Sense - Oh, hell. M Night Shyamalan. One of the world's greatest hit or miss directors. Now, I will tell you. I'm not a supernatural horror fan. But, the fact that this movie came out basically around the same time as a movie called Stir of Echoes (which was god damn excellent starring Kevin Bacon) however, nobody talks about it. Drives me INSANE. This movie was not frightening. Did not make me think. Wonder. M Night has made two of the worst horror films ever. The Village (which to this day is possibly the worst movie I've ever saw) and The Sixth Sense but, yet made some such a beautiful masterpiece like Unbreakable is beyond me. Stir of Echoes had a creepier house. A unreal performance by Mr. Bacon going bananas. And a finger nail breaking that made every body go "god ****".
3) Halloween III: Season of the Witch - You may be thinking "wait everybody knows this sucks". Nope. Not everybody. There seems to be a ever growing legion of people that love this fucking Halloween III shit. And thats what it is shit. Complete with its Silver Shamrock Commerical and creeping bullshit singing. People are like "its just different". Damn right its different. Where the hell is Michael Myers? Shit, its a Halloween movie for shit sakes. I swear. Jump the shark. Wow. Thank god for Halloween 4: The RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS. Get it. Halloween. Michael Myers. H3 was a POS. End of Story.
2) I Spit On Your Grave - This movie was actually not that bad. It has rape, violence, etc. However, again by today's standards this is no longer shocking. So it does not stand the test of time. They raped this woman silly. Which is wrong. But, the rape in the movie with Jodie Foster was a helluva lot more believable and brutal to me. And stands with me more than the ones in this movie ever will. Neither are right. But, in today's standards. It does not hold up as shocking.
1) The Original Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Wow. This one will get the hounds called out on me. Yes, Chainsaw. And I will say Chainsaw is still better than most of the bs direct to dvd shit that is released today. But, this is supposed to be a classic in terms of cannibals, crazy redneck families, and a chain welding Leatherface. You know this is a decent flick even now. But, I still enjoy TCM 2 and most definitely the remake from Platinum Dunes a 1,000 times better. Maybe, because this suffers from the infamous shocking in the 70's isn't shocking in this era of horror. The remake was strong brutal, raw, gory fucking masterpiece. Not only is Leatherface a beast but, R Lee Ermey is a fucking nut bag legend as that sheriff. The original TCM looks old to me. And in some parts just drags. Sorry horror fans. But, thats the truth.
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